“A couple of Forevers”

Sex, is one topic that carries along religious, cultural, political and personal baggage. We are all fascinated, excited and interested by sex in all its forms. I will even go so far as saying there is a natural obsession with sex. This post will not be an anti-sex post because I would be lying to myself and my readers. I made a decision to be unapologetically authentic and in doing so, I want to talk about the decision to give up sex=celibacy. I loved sex. Let me rephrase that. I loved the intimacy and comfort, the vulnerability that takes place during the sex act. I consider myself open-minded which is just a nice word for what some would label as a sexual “freak”. I have been attracted to both men and women. I would fantasize, watch pornography, and although I wasn’t as experienced as the women in these films, I desired to be. I practiced masturbation and somehow it didn’t make me feel as empowered as I thought it should. I loved the idea of lingerie and dressing up. Combined with the fact that I am a very curvy woman, it was so natural to indulge in my desire to know more about my sexuality. I have also been infatuated with romance. Let’s get into it: sex is probably the most compelling aspect of human gratification. I purchased a book recently by the Hollywood power couple Devon Franklin & Meagan Good called “The Wait”the-wait-9781501105296_hr I’ve started the book, put it down, left it on the dining table, on the steps, as a reminder. I’ve been avoiding it. Truly. There are some truths that cannot be denied. For example, “sex outside of marriage sets off a chain of chemical reactions in the brain; you’re really leaving a part of you with them and taking a part of them with you..whether you want to or not. It is an act of trust which is something I believe I always felt but not quite understood. It’s way more than just a physical attraction although let’s admit it that is the first reaction to be awakened when we see a person that makes us swoon. A fit body, everything in its place, can be so stimulating. It creates a yearning to feel the instant gratification casual sex brings. Once the encounter is over and the hormones are back to a dull roar, all that matters to any one person is the character and intelligence. Values, morals and self-esteem. By this time, if we made the wrong choice, this is the time where it will all manifest and we see the outcome. Casual sex is sabotage. Let me be clear, it is damaging to continue to engage in random sex acts with people you simply find “hot” be it ones you have gotten comfortable with or total strangers. Beyond unwanted pregnancies & sexually transmitted diseases, which are major in itself, the exchange of energy is crucial. To make a decision that you will practice celibacy is often met with snickers, stares and outright ridicule. It is an extremely difficult decision, especially once you have been introduced to your sexuality and have decided to act on the impulses. Self-discipline requires you to control or restrain yourself from your desires. Doing away with ego and delaying gratification is the key to finally finding the peace and happiness that you are searching for. I want to mention that you can still achieve your goals/dreams without needing a partner to be your best self. It is possible to reach your potential and be a success first then come together with whom you are meant to be with. I am saying that without jumping into sex, having it cloud your judgment or distort your perceptions, turning you into a “passive victim instead of an active collaborator” in the story of your life, YOU HAVE TIME! To work on you. To value yourself. To strengthen your belief in your higher power. As a beginner in the Buddhist teachings, I have learned about the usefulness of meditation. I haven’t been as consistent as I need to be and I’m working on it but I will tell you, it works. Having a clear mindset is beneficial when making deliberate, positive choices that change who you are and how your mind works. In the book it’s called “strategic patience” and it’s one of the most life-affirming choices you can make in your journey to self-improvement. I believe in the phrase” Great things are coming” and even if love hasn’t found it’s way to you yet, with each new day you practice self-discipline, you’re wiser, stronger and more in control. Yes, it is amazing. Right at this very moment-today- is a new beginning and going forward, is a life that one always dreams of and been waiting/hoping for.  DON’T LOOK BACK, YOU’RE NOT GOING THAT WAY! blonde

 

 

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